I say
Here are some of the things I've actually said {outloud} within the recent week.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry; I'm going to have to ask you to put your shoes back on."
"You can't take that outside. (Why?) Because it's illegal. (What?) You can't take that outside."
"Well, call me when that pain clears up."
"Hey - that guy who bit me hasn't been here in awhile."
"Have to go pee-pees? Huh? Come on, go pee-pees. Good boy."
"It's a lovely day for a stroll on the surface of the SUN."
"Does anyone know if guests are allowed to change a diaper in the lobby? (Uhh - normally, no. But right now, it's okay.) Copy that."
"I drove your car home cause she was a little drunk and wasn't feeling well and I brought the karaoke equipment here to be picked up. When she comes out of the bathroom, tell her whatever makes the most sense. See you later."
"No, the eyeballs are all fake. Except for the ones right over there."
"I tried that woodpecker."
"Way I figure it, Hitler really just wanted to control the entertainment industry."
"The last time I was here I don't remember leaving."
"Will. Will's a good name. (for a cat)"
"That might go through your floor if it falls over. (yes, and take whatever appendage in between them along with it.)"
"Ooh - nice shot. Did you get any others? (Oh, yeah a few --)
Aww, I'm sorry - I'm going to have to ask you to delete those."
And, finally -
"The first time I wore this shirt, I was just being real gay. The second time I wore it here, I was being Jesus; and now, the third time I'm wearing it, I'm Superman. You figure it out."
Ta-ta, foolks!
Current Mood: effectedCurrent Music: Ella Fitzgerald